First Perfect Paper as a Graduate Level Student

I completed my Graduate level Civil War class with a major paper on Prisoners of War. I won’t lie, I was nervous. I have researched and collected books on POWs in the Civil War for years, and for years I have been told this was subject that was not suitable for study by someone such as myself. Why men seem to think that a female historian can not approach such a topic without a bias or objective perspective is beyond me, but for years I was told it was too controversial or it was not suited to me.

Well, today I received my grade back on my paper… a PERFECT grade from one of the hardest professors I know. He is well respected in the field of Civil War studies and no doubt has been hard on me from time to time, but I would like to think he expected perfection on this paper from me because he knew I was so adamant this was my topic.

This perfect grade to me is like receiving validation from a highly respected scholar that I am indeed right in pursuing something that means so much to me.  I practically live at Andersonville National Prisoner of War Museum. I am in their research library so often, that they know me by name. They are even going to be keeping a copy of this paper in their archives for anyone who comes behind me needing or wanting to do research on the Dix-Hill Cartel since they have so little that deals specifically with the valuable document.

So thank you, Dr. Woodworth, for challenging me to prove that I know this subject, that I could be entrusted to tell its story when no one else, with the exception of course of a few close mentors, believed that I should be considering it.

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Life of a Graduate Student in History

I started this blog a few years ago when I was still an Undergraduate History Major at Liberty University. Today, I am a full-time Graduate Student at the same school. Things have slightly changed since that first blog post when the journey first began. While I am still focusing on American Military History, the emphasis has altered.

When I first enrolled back in college after so many years away, I always believed that Civil War History would be the only area that I would specialize in. That is until, a certain professor named Professor Ritchie, showed me that I had the aptitude for more than just the Civil War. He believed in me when I could not believe in myself. He had faith in my ability to conquer just about every major American Military event when I thought he was crazy. So today, I am proud to say that my Master’s will focus on Aviation in the Pacific during World war II.  One day, I hope to go on to have a Ph.D. in Civil War with an emphasis on Prisoners of War, but for the next year, my focus will be on Boyington, Chennault, and Doolittle.

I plan to use my blog a lot more often than I have in the past. I want to blog my journey as an Online student earning her Master’s while writing a Thesis. So while the occasional blog might have something to do with a thoroughly researched topic or opinion from time to time, the bulk of my writings will focus on the day to day life of a student immersed in research. The ups and downs of attempting serious research within the Archival systems, how difficult it can be to access primary source documentation from these sources when you live so far away from them. The joy it brings you to find that little nugget of information or document that will propel the research to heights previously unimagined.  The frustration that occurs when you want to travel to a certain location for research but find that time and funds do not allow it.

Most importantly, I want to be able to show that it can be done. To encourage someone who may be saying, “I am too old to go back to school,” or “I do not have time for serious research” that as long as you are willing to put in the work, have patience with yourself, and communicate with professors, anyone can achieve the previously unachievable dreams they may hold.

Life can be tough there is no question about that and adding in serious academic scholarship can often feel overwhelming, but if you are passionate about something then go for it. There is nothing standing in your way but yourself.  FDR said in his first inaugural speech that “The only thing to fear, is fear itself.”

So I hope that by setting my own fear of writing on the internet will inspire you to follow your dreams.

the-only-thing-we-have-to-fear-is-fear-itself1.jpg

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A Christian perspective of History

What exactly is a Christian worldview of history? I know it is not the over-spiritualization of Scripture, in other words, as a future historian I know I am not supposed to look at scripture and attempt to attach it to a particular event. It is not emphasizing Christians throughout certain historical events, though they may have their roles to play it is not about saying that this event had the outcome did or did not solely based on x number of individuals being Christian.  Lastly, it should not be approached only on a providentialist view seeking what God was doing or intending when certain events occurred.

So what does it mean to me, to see history through the lens of being a Christian? First, it means that I strive, to be honest. To look at events through the eyes of those who experienced it. To be fair and balanced to understand that according to my beliefs man was made in God’s image. Therefore, we have the ability to reason. To understand that because Adam disobeyed God man is not perfect, he will do things that do not align with God’s word.  It also means that I know that all things happen according to God’s plan yet, I do not look at specific events and question what he was doing or was allowing to happen then.

I look to others who have laid the path before me in hopes of finding historians to model myself after.

clyde_wilson Dr. Clyde Wilson, a respected and leading Jeffersonian scholar as well as the editor of the papers of John C. Calhoun. After doing some research I have found that some historians feel that he is more of a neo-confederate in his approach to history, especially, the Civil War. He is a member of the Abbeville Institute whose goal is to “preserve and present what is true and valuable in the Southern tradition.” (http://www.abbevilleinstitute.org/principles/)  Below you will find a link to a video of a presentation written by Dr. Clyde Wilson as read by Liberty University’s own Dr. Carey Roberts, another historian that I hope one day to model myself but we will get to that a little further down. I hope you will take the time to listen to this presentation in hopes that you will gain a bit more insight to Dr. Wilson’s expertise of Jeffersonian History.
http://www.tjheritage.org/LookingForMrJefferson.html

 

st-augustine Another historian I respect and find holds a clear Christian Worldview is that of Augustine of Hippo. Augustine’s book City of God, City of Man laid the foundation for how we should view history by seeing it through two realms. That of God’s eternal city and that of the earthly kingdom. City of God, City of Man was written as a response to Rome’s questioning of whether God had allowed the sacking of Rome. He was respected by his peers and was able to use multiple disciplines such as philosophy and theology to understand the world around him. Augustine is a great example of how Christian historians should use both history and theology to answer about things that are relevant to their time.

carey-roberts-web             Dr. Carey Roberts is another historian I greatly admire and respect. I have not personally had the opportunity to have him as a professor, but I have had the chance to sit and talk with him about his views of history. To carry on a conversation and learn why and how he incorporates a Christian Worldview. I have also had the opportunity over the course of the last three years to be able to listen to many of his videos that he has prepared for the various Liberty University History Department, of which I am a student.

There are other historians that I greatly admire for the ability to bring to life historical events during the Civil War, authors such as Shelby Foote, Dr. Gary Gallagher and so much more. However, one thing I am sure of is this, while I admire their ability to tell the story I can not say they are telling the story from a Christian Worldview. I see in areas where they are heavily biased in their writings and at times seem very liberal in their views. I am sure there are much more that I could learn from when it comes to a Christian Worldview of history. However, I will be honest when I say that I have not purposely searched out them. I have always been drawn to military historians and military stories so my experience has always been to view the writers from a military approach.

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The Confederate Battle Flag

In the wake of the senseless shooting in Charleston, SC recently by an individual who obviously had problems, the country once again is up in arms over a symbol that for so many is a reflection of their heritage. As a History major specializing in Civil War history, I can see both sides of the coin. For those of descendants of slaves, its represents oppression, hatred, bondage and much worse. Yet for those of us whose roots are planted firmly in the South, it means so much more. My family fought in the Civil War. I had a great great great grandfather who died as a POW in a Union Camp called Rock Island. I had an ancestor die in Elmira POW Camp in New York. An Ancestor who died and is buried in Vicksburg and a great great great grandpa who fought in the 26th Volunteer Regiment of South Carolina.  None of my family held slaves, yet they willingly answered the call of their home states when called upon. Up until the Civil War, while we were considered the United States of America, in reality each state was considered its own sovereignty, states held more control over how the government of their state was managed. Big government was limited, in comparison to how it is today where they have a say in pretty much all aspects of government.   For many, the Civil War wasn’t about the right to keep their slaves, it was about the Federal Government forcing more control on the states, thereby taking away some of the rights states had held since this country had won it’s independence.

I will say this though, this country shouldn’t still be torn in a Civil War, thus the flag that is so prominently displayed in state capitols across the south, that so many southerners fly proudly on their property should come down. This flag is NOT the National Flag of the Confederate States. This Flag has no historical meaning for the confederacy other than as a Battle flag. It is so often confused with the true “stars and bars” of the Confederacy.

This is the Battle Flag. If it's rectangular it represents the Battle Flag of the Army of Tennessee. If it's square it represents the Army of Northern Virginia.

This is the Battle Flag. If it’s rectangular it represents the Battle Flag of the Army of Tennessee. If it’s square it represents the Army of Northern Virginia.

This However is the National Flag of the Confederacy. Or rather 1 of three. This was the first design. Notice how it is very similar in design to the  original American Flag.  With 13 stars representing the 13 states that were part of the Confederacy. When this design was done originally it contained 7, then moved to 9, then 11, finally to 13. Each addition represented the states that joined the confederacy.

This However is the National Flag of the Confederacy. Or rather 1 of three. This was the first design. Notice how it is very similar in design to the original American Flag. With 13 stars representing the 13 states that were part of the Confederacy. When this design was done originally it contained 7, then moved to 9, then 11, finally to 13. Each addition represented the states that joined the confederacy.

As you can see, the True “Stars and Bars” shown on the right was the original National Flag. It was changed after the Battle of Bull Run (the first battle there) simply because General Lee preferred the Battle Flag of Northern Virginia in battle as it was less confusing as to who was fighting who. Imagine being in the heat of battle and seeing this flag not flying but rather laying limp due to lack of wind, wouldn’t you confuse this with the original American Flag? This is what General Lee felt. He said that it needed to change as far as Battle was concerned so they could actually tell the Union troops from their own soldiers.

A second National Flag was designed, one that has extreme negative connotation.  One that individuals who seek to oppress people, not of their skin color would associate with. One that as a true Southerner and Historian, I refuse to associate with my heritage, but yet must at least acknowledge its place in Southern History because for a time it was indeed used as a National Flag. It  as well was deemed not suitable for battle as it resembled too closely a flag of truce and surrender. It was referred to as the “Stainless Banner”. It was a solid white flag with an Army of Northern Virginia Battle Flag in the top corner. Being deemed unsuitable for Battle it was once again redesigned to include a red stripe down the end of the flag and thereby called “The Blood Stained” Banner.

Take the Battle Flag down, by all means we shouldn’t still be at war with each other. We are supposed to be one nation under God, one people, one country. Yet please don’t assume that just because someone recognizes their heritage, honors the fallen who died during the war is racist. Not all southerners are racist, are there some, yes and sadly that won’t ever change unless we as individuals learn to read the book before we judge the cover. We have to learn from our history, slavery wasn’t just a southern issue. In fact, the North had their share of slaves, in fact, it was something that laid covered up for many years till slave burial grounds were found in New York. Slave Burial Ground found in the Bronx.  Slave Burial Ground found in 1991 in Manhattan. How can something like this go unnoticed, is it because for years people have been trying to rewrite the history books?  How have students of US History not been taught that slavery wasn’t just a “white man’s issue”?  I know for myself, it wasn’t until I studied African American History in college that I learned that many African tribes sold other tribes into slavery for guns. They would fight each other for dominance and as is typical of war, to the victor goes the spoils. Those they didn’t kill, they sold to the European traders for weapons to continue their tribal wars. Yet where is the outrage for this? Where is the protests, the demands that have been made against southerners to denounce their heritage, to take down their flags, change their school names against these tribes? Why is it okay to say that someone doesn’t like a college having a building named for a Southerner who contributed so much to that school and insist that it has to be erased from their history. Basically, what I am saying is you can’t blame one group for something that was a world issue.  Slavery was no doubt an evil that needed to come to an end.  The practices of few shouldn’t be blamed on the whole. Not every southern family had slaves, not every southern family that did treated them extremely harsh. Yet those that did are the ones that history remembers, they are the ones that allow individuals to blame an entire society for the evils perpetrated on them.

The South has always been known for its hospitality, for the beauty of its lands, and the code of Chivary that left a lasting impression on the hearts of those who claim to be Southerners. Where men were honor bound, women upheld their family dignity,  and yes ma’am and no ma’am were heard out of the mouths of generations. This is what being Southern truly means. This is why Southerners cling to their heritage and honor the legacies of their families. It’s not about slavery, it’s not about being racists, its about family, honor, dignity, and respect.

So from this Proud Southerners point of view, by all means please do remove the Battle Flag from places it has no right to be. However, do not tell me that the flags of my fathers, the flags they died under have no place in history. Have no place being acknowledged. Pick up a history book and read. Dig through your own family records and through State and National records and see what your own family history and heritage is. Teach your children not to judge a book by its cover, but rather to read the book and see what its about before rushing to judgement against them.

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The Fun of driving

Okay, so this may seem small to some but have you ever ridden with a post-deployed combat veteran? Oh, my it still scares me and my husband’s last deployment was six years ago. He doesn’t notice it, but I sure do. I understand that when deployed they have to scan the road for IED (Improvised Explosive Devices) and such. For myself, I guess I have a hard time understanding how after six years they are still scanning those roads here in the states for such things. While normally he is an excellent driver when its just here in our tiny town, you don’t dare let him drive outside of here. The traffic makes things worse than they need to be. Sometimes I swear if our vehicle did not have disabled veteran tags on it the cops would probably pull us over thinking one of us had been drinking and then got behind the wheel. Of course, he likes to say it’s just the alignment in the car when I say something about it. Most of the time, I just try not to let it get to me, and then there are times when I think he is doing it on purpose.  He knows it scares me so I try just to laugh it off. Not always easy to do that is for sure. But I guess that is just one of the small issues I have to deal with and if that is all it is then I will take it. I’d rather be sometimes scared on the road with him than make him feel like he has lost his independence. Sometimes ensuring he still has the sense of freedom is worth more than my comfort level.

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Memorial Day

It is that time of year again. The time we set aside to remember those men and women who paid the ultimate price. Those blank checks they signed willingly to lay down their lives cashed in during battle. Not only that but in this house, it’s the start of the annual spiral down hill for my combat veteran who deals with PTSD.

It was his last deployment and for the first time had seen the preparations of the fallen’s caskets for their flight back to the United States.  His previous deployments while yes there were plenty that had died in combat, they never saw the final flight prep out of the country. So you can imagine how hard that must have been to know that here they were just getting off the plane into theater only to witness the final flights. It was also during this deployment that he saw the bombing of the base gym. Now for me, this is something that scares me because he was getting ready to open the door to the gym when it exploded. However, he is very dismissive of the event.

The more emotional reason Memorial Day is difficult for us is that it was during his last deployment he lost his pilots and jet. My husband was a crew chief; he fixed the jets. Handled one jet, in particular, it was his sole responsibility to ensure that aircraft was properly maintained and mission ready.  There is a bond between crew chiefs and pilots especially in situations such as deployments. You are more brothers than coworkers.  On the night of July 18, 2009, however, his jet did not return. He was left waiting for word about the aircraft and his friends. Word finally came, the plane and pilots were gone. Not at the hand of enemy fire, but rather because something went wrong during a last minute decision to practice training maneuvers on their way back to base. Now starts the investigation into whether it was mechanical or pilot error. It was pilot error sadly, yet for my husband the doubt still crept in. Still does during this time of the year. He knows it wasn’t anything he could have done differently with the aircraft. Everything was cleared mechanically in the investigation, yet when you are responsible for a $50 million plane and the lives of the men who fly it, it is easy to see how that doubt would haunt you.  So during our Memorial Day weekend we remember “Pitbull” and “Lag” with great sadness. Sadness for the families they left behind, and grief for the men who would willingly lay down their lives for those they loved and this country.  My husband may never fully recover from their deaths, but he knows that it wasn’t his fault, and he knows that they wouldn’t want him to blame himself.

So this Memorial Day when you are having your family bbq’s take the time to remember the families that are missing someone from theirs. Remember the many men and women that willingly signed those blank checks and the price those checks cost. The cost of their lives.. blood spilled on the battlefield.

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And So the Journey Begins….

A little about me. I live in South Georgia, yes there is a difference, ask anyone who is from here. I’m both a military brat (term of affection for one born and raised in a military family) as well as a retired military spouse. My husband did three deployments that resulted in PTSD and severe lung issues and, as a consequence, was medically retired at the age of 25 from the Air Force. There is a ten year age difference between myself and my husband, but I love him more than words can ever say. I’m a mom; I have grown boys and two who fly with the angels. I am also a full-time caregiver for my husband as well as a full-time college student.

As for being a full-time student, I’m majoring in History. Specifically American History with an emphasis on the Civil War, minoring in American Military History. Can we see the pattern here? I sure can. Being a military kid and wife sure left an impact on me, and I love our men and women in the military who willingly sign that blank check for our country. Plus, history is a major passion for me. So it makes sense that I would combine the two.

A friend once suggested that I put my thoughts into writings. I never thought that blogging would be something I would consider.  That is, until a dear friend of mine from my childhood, who is a veteran of our armed forces told me her therapist wanted her to do it.  I guess therapists now see blogging as a great tool for helping people work through emotions and personal issues they are facing. In a way I can see their point, I mean I find it helpful when I journal, but the thought of putting those ideas that I write on the internet is intimidating, to say the least.

I hope you will follow me on this new journey and maybe something I say will inspire you or just simply encourage you.

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